My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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