Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
