can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
