I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
