Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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