New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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