just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
