shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
