Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
