We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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