So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
