Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
