Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
BRING THE BAGELS
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
