you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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