she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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