Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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