I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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