I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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