I puked a lego.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
