I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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