I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
