Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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