dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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