lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
