How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
