There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
