No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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