Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
