btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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