At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
