My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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