help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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