Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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