I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
