now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
