he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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