i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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