I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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