Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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