Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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