i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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