I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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