just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
