that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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