I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
