I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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