so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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