who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
