We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Randomize
