I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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