Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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